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Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds or less.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires
only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.
You
can go to the bathroom without a support group.
You don't have to learn to spell a new last name.
You can leave the
motel bed unmade.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You get extra credit for the slightest
act of thoughtfulness.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Wedding dress -- $2,000. Tuxedo rental - 75 bucks.
If
someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can
still be your friend.
Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
You can quietly
enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You don't have to clean your
apartment if the meter reader is
coming.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You can quietly watch a game with
your buddy for hours without
ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."
Same work...more pay.
Gray hair and wrinkles
only add character.
You don't mooch off other's desserts.
You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring
a little
gift.
If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you
just might become lifelong friends.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with. "So, notice
anything different?"
You are not expected to know
the names of more than five colors.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a
bolt.
You
almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts
for years, maybe decades.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
Christmas
shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on
December 24th, in 45 minutes.
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