How To Shower Like a Woman
Take off
clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper
according
to lights
and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing
gown. If you see husband
along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to
do more sit-ups/leg-lifts,
etc.
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg
cloth, long
loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash
your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair
with grapefruit
mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed
apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes
until red.
Wash
entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and
legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How To Shower Like a Man
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see
wife along the way, shake
wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
Get
in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend
majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash
your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Pee.
Rinse
off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off. Fail
to notice water on floor because curtain
was hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower
curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull
off towel, shake wiener at her and make
the 'woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is
something so very wrong with you.
