Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes
out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there...I'm
gonna eat the next thing that comes out of it's bum."

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the
toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the car pool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut,
why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but
don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your Obstetrician/Gynaecologist leave the room when you get
undressed if he is going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?  They're
both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

If Wile E. Coyote from the Road Runner show had enough money to buy
all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables,then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the
same tune?

Stop singing and read on . . . . . .. . . . .

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but
call it a hemorrhoid when it's on the outside of your a--?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?